Evaluate Your Social Connection: A 6-Point Checklist
I recently realized that I haven’t invited anyone to our home to share a meal in a long time. I used to have casual dinner parties, but I can’t remember the last time I hosted one. And while being in the parenting-of-a-young-child stage of life is very different from a version of me that had more free time, lingering pandemic habits have stubbornly lodged themselves into my family’s daily routines. While I blame my lack of focused social effort on being an introvert and enjoying my alone time with a book and a cup of tea (which I treasure), the pendulum has swung too far.
I was intrigued when I recently heard Aaron Hurst, founder of new non-profit The US Chamber of Connection, speak at an event. The organization describes itself as the nation's civic institution dedicated to building and sustaining the core infrastructure needed to address the greatest issue facing society today—our lack of connection.
“I believe our social isolation has become an invisible threat to our democracy, making us more polarized and impeding our ability to come together to solve complex challenges, from climate change to affordable housing.”
It is evident to me that loneliness and the decline of social connection and trust are driving many societal outcomes today. As we sift through the post-mortems of what went wrong in the US Presidential election, we must acknowledge that polarization is driven, in part, by eroding social trust, with only 32% of people in our country trusting each other. Furthermore, in 2023, the former U.S. Surgeon General issued a public health advisory naming loneliness and isolation an epidemic and calling on the nation to come together to address it.
Here are some other sobering statistics:
44 million American adults are experiencing significant loneliness
26 million report having no friends
The United States ranks last among 24 countries, coming in last in the percent of people who feel connected to other people in their country and second to last in feeling connected to their community
Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (conversely, having strong and secure connections has been shown to increase life expectancy)
Earlier this month, The Atlantic published “The Anti-Social Century” by Derek Thompson, which outlines the cultural and civic risks to our increasingly anti-social tendencies:
“The individual preference for solitude, scaled up across society and exercised repeatedly over time, is rewiring America’s civic and psychic identity. And the consequences are far-reaching—for our happiness, our communities, our politics, and even our understanding of reality.”
In the wake of an onslaught of terrible political news, I am seeking the balance of sanity and engagement. I am choosing to focus on what I can control. I can largely control how I engage with people around me, and how I attempt to build community locally.
The US Chamber of Connection created a 6 point checklist to evaluate your own health of social connection. I found the framework helpful in identifying the connection gaps in my life, and I encourage you to evaluate your own connections.
6 Points of Connection Checklist
(Adapted from Seattle Chamber of Connection website)
1.Neighbor Emergency Contact
Test: Do you have a neighbor who you can contact in case of an emergency?
Fact: A third of Americans don’t know their neighbors and 45% report not having any interaction with their neighbors.
Challenge: Knock on a door and say hello, or stop to chat if you see a neighbor walking by.
2. Community of Identity
Test: Do you belong to a community based on shared identity? These are centered around characteristics like gender, sexual orientation, or ethnicity (ex. women’s leadership networks, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, or cultural or religious associations).
Fact: To reap the rewards of emotional well-being and a strong sense of connection, individuals must engage actively with the community.
Challenge: Seek out a local community or social organization to join.
3. Weekly Social Interactions
Test: Do you have at least 2 meaningful social interactions outside of your work or household each week (eg. getting coffee with a friend)?
Fact: Only 53% of adults report having daily in-person interactions, while 29% report meaningful social interactions on a weekly basis.
Challenge: Set up a coffee date with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
4. Third Place
Test: Do you have a "third place"—a space outside of work and home for social interaction— whether a café, park, gym, or community center. These spaces provide a neutral and informal setting for social connections and reduce feelings of isolation.
Fact: A Pew Research Center study found that only 52% of Americans say they attend a social or recreational gathering place at least monthly.
Challenge: Make yourself a regular somewhere.
5. Activity Community
Test: Do you engage in a community based on shared interest in an activity (sports, arts, hobbies)? These communities facilitate interactions based on mutual interests—while fostering connections with people from diverse backgrounds.
Fact: Only 57% of Americans participate in some form of community group, such as sports leagues, or hobby clubs (side note: this is often the way men are most likely to build social connection).
Challenge: Identify an activity you’d like to spend more time doing, and find a group setting to practice that activity.
6. Community Service
Test: Have you engaged in any community service (e.g. volunteering at a soup kitchen or community garden) since the pandemic?
Fact: 50% of those who volunteer frequently have robust social ties, whereas only 19% of individuals with limited social networks volunteer regularly.
Challenge: Identify a cause that interests (homelessness, mental health, city parks, youth empowerment) and research the best way to get involved. Attend a training or volunteer to help at an event.
